• me asking about tea flavors: what kind of teas...

Andrew Garfield for Nylon Guys Magazine, July, 2012

"Look, I need you to read and sign the employee manual. Details a lot of the workplace policies. One of them is, um, proper workplace attire."

unmannedblogvehicle:

"hey kid i got that book you wanted"

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hermione:

Mary Elizabeth Winstead photographed by Henny Garfunkel for Paper Mag during the 2014 Tribeca Film Festival

i’ve been home for like 2 hours and i’m over it. whens my next trip

She tasted like alcohol and memes.
Six Word Story (via yungsaintjesus)

yeezus-fish:

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
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5 HOURS TIL I’M ON THE PLANE!!!! 14 MORE HOURS OF FLYING!!!! WHY HASN’T TELEPORTATION BEEN INVENTED YET!!!! ✈️ (at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX))

5 HOURS TIL I’M ON THE PLANE!!!! 14 MORE HOURS OF FLYING!!!! WHY HASN’T TELEPORTATION BEEN INVENTED YET!!!! ✈️ (at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX))

i asked if abe had seen the 2012 movie ‘Lincoln’ and he replied “what the fuck is a movie?” i doubt he would’ve gone near a theater lately anyway (at Abraham Lincoln Memorial)

i asked if abe had seen the 2012 movie ‘Lincoln’ and he replied “what the fuck is a movie?” i doubt he would’ve gone near a theater lately anyway (at Abraham Lincoln Memorial)

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

shrekyourself:

new meme: adam sandler disappears into thin air, jennifer aniston is grief stricken

shrekyourself:

new meme: adam sandler disappears into thin air, jennifer aniston is grief stricken